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daily 02/15/2014

    • The next morning, I board a shuttle bus, which is extremely cramped. A few people sport matching purple T-shirts that read “Cookin’ UP SOME FAMILY fun” in lime-green-and-silver holographic letters (probably they are together);
    • There are two other reporters on the trip: one woman is freelancing for an online outlet; the other is employed by a tremendously popular print weekly.
    • The other reporter is on the ship as well.
    • At capacity, the Reflection carries 3,030 passengers. Of that, 139 of us are there for the January 2014 Eastern Caribbean Paula Deen Cruise.
    • The average Deen cruiser is a woman in or fast approaching her sixties, slightly overweight but not obese. She was likely born (or spent a great deal of her life) in the part of the Southern United States that could be colloquially referred to as “Dixie,” but may live somewhere else now. This is almost certainly not her first cruise, and there is a 1 in 4 chance it is not her first Paula Deen cruise. She is either widowed or divorced. She thinks Paula got a bum deal. She is wearing at least one thing that is the color aquamarine. She is white.
    • Turner was one of the stars of The Grill Sergeants, a cooking show that debuted on the Pentagon Channel in 2007 and ran for three seasons (funded by the Department of Defense) before being canceled. Like any wannabe-TV cooking personality, he has cultivated an arsenal of flashy trademarks (including but not limited to: singing while cooking, coining unnecessary culinary terms, and referring to salt as “ooh!”), so that talking to him is like talking to a person who is, at that very moment, inside a television.
    • One of them could use a famous friend right about now, and one of them could do with a black one.
    • “Michael!” she exclaims to her her husband, Michael (and the room), “It’s the Grill Sergeant! No one told me he was coming!”
    • Because you know what happens if you fight back? Well then, you’ve fed the troll.
    • Son, the head coach is a very important man with many important things to do and there isn’t enough time in his day to handle every player’s problems. You’re imposing on him the second you walk through that door.
    • There is structure of authority in place to discourage you from EVER doing that. You are discouraged from looking needy or distracting or in need of a babysitter.  That’s all understood.
    • Confidence is such an odd, elusive quality in a man. Men who have it usually exploit it to maximum dickishness.
    • And men who don’t have it can spend years banging their heads against the wall to figure out how to get it. There is a perpetual disconnect between these two strains of men, which is why Incognito still probably doesn’t understand how he did anything wrong.
    • Inside a locker room, you’re vying for an alpha dog crown you’re probably never going to win.
    • The reason that many bullying or hazing victims are so attracted to their tormentors is because they operate under the delusion that if they can just win them over… if they can just get over that hump, AMAZING THINGS WILL HAPPEN.
    • You find the strength to handle your problems on your own—either with brute force or with stoic silence
    • But the reality is that a locker room is only a sanctuary for the confident, and daring to step outside the circle proves how much less of a man you are. Every option outside of just standing there and TAKING IT is cut off from you.
    • I just know that the way it will change is when someone in charge tells players that they will always have someone to talk to, and that that is okay to back down once in while… that there will always be a sanctuary away from the sanctuary.
    • All you did was type out one long excuse for abusive behavior and try to hide behind an unsupported assertion that this is how it is, how it’s always been and how it will always be.

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

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